Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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