real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
