Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize