oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize