He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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