weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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