So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
