Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
