I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
