On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
