i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
