): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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