So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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