Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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