How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
