We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
