I wish I could punch you in the face.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize