I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
