So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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