I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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