just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
