I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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