All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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