I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize