Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize