my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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