That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
