Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
