Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
