Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
