I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dicks are not precious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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