I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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