Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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