so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize