Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
