Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
