there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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