perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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