I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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