If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
