those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
