You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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