He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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