Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
