HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
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I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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