i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize