you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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