so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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