We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
