he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
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This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
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Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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