we're blogging at a bar
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
