I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
