This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
