Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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