I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize