She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize